Odes to Star Wars Characters
by swiftykenobi
Summary: A few humerous poems dedicated to our favorite Star Wars characters. Chapter four has cordially been reserved for dear Lord Sidious.
1. Darth Vader

Summary: Er...this originally started as just a humerous ode to darth vader, but then, I decided that it could be fun to extend it to other characters as well, sohere we go!

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars, blah blah blah (besides, if I did own it, would I really write these poems?).

* * *

ODE TO DARTH VADER 

My dear Darth Vader,  
Your breathing makes me quiver,  
And your black mask makes me shiver.  
Do you still have a liver?

Oh, Darthy,  
Your Force-choke is so grand,  
I wonder how you can stand,  
When you take over others' land.

Vader my friend,  
You are just so dandy,  
And I bet that your red lightsaber comes in handy.  
I just wonder, with your mask, can you still eat candy?

Mr. Vader, All that I can say is that you are great,  
Would you please, take me on a date?  
If no, I'll accept it as fate.

D.V,  
You inspire me,  
As you can see,  
To be the best bad guy I can be.

Da Vader,  
I heard you have a son,  
Who is as much a pushover as a cinnabun,  
You wouldn't make a very good nun.

Please forgive me Darth,  
I just had to write you a poem For you make me smile.  
And you will never go out of style.

You radiate the dark side.  
You should be full of pride.

For now I'll leave off with 'Later-Vader'  
Thank you for providing my poor soul with a truly magnificent bad guy to write about. And I'm sorry about that whole limbless and burning on Mustafar thing.  
It didn't look fun.

* * *

A/N: Sorry about the random rhymes and weird poem, but its just one of those days. Anyway, thanks for reading! You don't know the power of the dark side! 


	2. ObiWan

A/N: Here's my second poem, dedicated to the coolest Jedi Master of them all...Obi!

* * *

ODE TO OBI-WAN

Oh! Dear Obi-Wan,  
You are as gentle as a fawn, You could never be a con,  
I wish you could mow my lawn.

Kenobi, dude,  
You rock.  
You've used the Force to open my heart's lock.  
If I could, I would have Obi-socks.

Obi.K-  
Oh, your blue-green eyes!  
They fill my heart with sighs,  
I know you don't tell lies.

Mr. Kenobi,  
Your blue lightsaber glows,  
And your Jedi workout really shows,  
When I think of you, I simply cannot doze.

O.W.K.  
You made me shiver when you killed Darth Maul,  
Why won't you answer my comlink call?  
You are as mighty as a wall.

Obi my friend,  
I was sorry to hear about your evil Padawan,  
But you just look so spiffy in the light of dawn.

You are quite the Jedi God (Cliche, I know),  
But I suppose I could get sod.

I hope I have not embarrassed you,  
but after seeing your face, the world begins anew.

Obi-Wan Kenobi,  
Sith Lords are indeed your spesh-ee-ality.  
You have captured my heart,  
with a toxic saber dart.

Oh, fair, compassionate Kenobi,  
If I were you,  
I would not dwell on the whole Mustafar thing,  
Your defeat of the dark side, makes me want to sing.

You are my one, true Jedi Master,  
You hate to fly,  
But if you do not take me for a ride in your starfighter,  
I may cry.

I could go on forever, Far, far away into hyperspace,  
The galaxy truly appreciates your endeavors,  
Should my wedding dress to you have lace?

Perhaps I am getting ahead of myself, But what can I say,  
Except that you are A-ok,  
And you beat the bad guy, any day?

In short, my dear,  
You have captured my heart,  
This poem is sappy,  
But you just make me so happy!

* * *

Another A/N: To end with an Obi-Wan quote, "You don't want to sell me deathsticks." Any suggestions for who my next poetry victim should be? I was thinking Mace...or maybe Yoda? In any case, thanks for reading! Hope it brightened your day just a bit! 


	3. Yoda

* * *

ODE TO YODA

Dearest Master Yoda,  
My favorite little green troll are you,  
The crazy lightsaber moves you do,  
Say I must, that you are crazy cool.

Yoda,  
Your wisdom is alluring,  
Your mind reading can be disturbing,  
That you are still alive, is indeed assuring.

Yoda-le-hee-who,  
Your name rhymes with soda,  
And coda,  
In height, you are only an iota.

Yo da man,  
Green, your lightsaber is,  
At fighting the dark side, you are a whiz,  
Have you ever considered show biz?

Mr. Y,  
For almost a thousand years, Jedi you have trained,  
Aren't you getting a little pained?  
I hear that after a training session with you, Padawans are drained.

Your gimer stick is your companion,  
Wouldn't it be sad, if it got lost in a canyon?

Sometimes you are a quite the skeptic,  
When it comes to Chosen Ones,  
And antiseptics.

You fight against Dooku was awe-inspiring,  
You hardly seemed to be perspiring.  
Don't worry about Palpatine, he's quite uninspiring.

Yo-Yo,  
To Dagobah you went,  
Obi-Wan, to Mustafar you sent,  
In the Senate chambers, you made quite a dent.

Your fighting is resplendent,  
And your wisdom is transcendent.

You fight for the good of the galaxy,  
And younglings all around are grateful,  
That you are around,  
To destroy the hateful.

And honestly,  
You shouldn't cry any tears,  
Think I do, that pretty darn good you look for 900 years.

* * *

A/N: I think that Mace should be next, but I don't know, dear old Palpy seems like he could be interesting. I suppose I'll just let the Force guide me...thanks for reading, and remember, "Begun, this Clone War has." 


	4. Palpatine? Um, Sidious?

* * *

ODE TO PALPATINE...ER - SIDIOUS? LORD SIDIOUS? EMPORER? 

Dearest Chancellor,  
Before we begin,  
Perhaps we can grin,  
And confirm that you won't hit me over the head with a bowling pin.

When you play Sidious, you always wear your hood,  
Because I know that you refuse to be misunderstood.  
I know that if you could run the galaxy, you would.  
Oh wait...I suppose you already do.

Palpy,  
You are the Supreme Chancellor,  
Should I be at all alarmed that it sort of rhymes with blasphemer?  
I hear that you sting like Heptachlor.

Should I be calling you Sidious?  
I don't want to offend,  
But I've heard that you love to condescend.  
Is there a Coruscant restaurant, that you could recommend?

Darth Siddy,  
Your Force-lighting is exceptionally electric,  
Your wardrobe choices aren't very eclectic,  
I bet that engraining evilness in your new apprentice has been pretty hectic.

You know,  
The scars really don't look so bad,  
One could go so far as to call them really rad.  
Erm...perhaps not, but you're still a bit mad...

You really are evil,  
You've got the galaxy in upheaval.

Although, I suppose that it was your goal,  
To make the perfect crescent roll?

D. Sid,  
There is no other bad guy,  
Quite as evil as your lies,  
You should wear a tie.

You're known for those Sith you train,  
Maul, Dooku, Skywalker...weren't they a bit of a pain?  
But I guess that you were never really sane.

For a small piece of advice,  
Your favorite commands can get a little trite,  
"Wipe them out, all of them?"  
'Tis just a tad impolite.

Don't get the wrong idea,  
But you probably shouldn't open a pizzeria,  
Perhaps instead, you should set out to find a panacea.

Perhaps I should go now,  
I don't want to get in your way,  
Tell your new apprentice I said hi,  
I'll just run quickly,  
Because I really don't want to be your next prey.

* * *

A/N: "NO, NO, no YOU will die!" er... "I suggest you move the Seperatist leaders to Mustafar." Heehee, gotta love Siddy. Thanks for reading, and feedback is always most appreciated! 


End file.
